Away in a graveyard, a stone overhead
The zombie lord Jesus is raised from the dead
The bones and the corpses are at his command
And rise like their master to swarm o’er the land!
The women are screaming, then running away
Poor Mary and Martha are gnawed where they lay
I fear thee, lord Jesus, your curséd undeath
With worms in your bowels and rot on your breath.
Have mercy, lord Jesus, don’t eat me today
Next year I’ll be bigger, I promise! I pray
Some shaman or rabbi or priestess or such
Will stake you and save us from your deadly touch.
Tattoo by Honest Jon, Slave to the Needle Tattoo Studio, Seattle WA.
For me, today is better than ‘good’. Like most of the UK – I am not at work. But in my case a magical and well earned five day weekend stoops before me. One that is riddled with bunny delivered chocolates, processed meats and vodka. If Jesus died for our sins why are we rewarded with a quaint little spring time break? Before you think too hard about it… I don’t care.
Enjoy your weekend chaps and chappettes.
I know that Jesus wasn’t actually born on this day but whatevs, it isn’t exactly the worst lie told by Christians. Anyways, I don’t care… because I am getting Skyrim for Christmas. I NEED Jesus to have been born today so that I can play Skyrim. He has saved me from a potentially boring Christmas break, and for that he is my hero. We all need a hero.